1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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