You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
