Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
