lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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