Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
