No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize