just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
