i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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