I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
