in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
