so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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