but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize