Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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