This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
