I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
