You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
