You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
