Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think your dad took our porno
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need to calm my uterus...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
