I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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