you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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