so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
