I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
