my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
