Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
