we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
