and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Randomize
