come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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