if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
