he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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