and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
