There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
