Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
