She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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