i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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