Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
