Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he shaved USA in his pubs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize