Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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