I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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