I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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