it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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