So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
