Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
