Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
