When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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