Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize