so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
