my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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