Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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