He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
