Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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