if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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