walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
