is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
worst night to have a conscience
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
