didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize