Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
