Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
