I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
