I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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