its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
