East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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