i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
