...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
