apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize