WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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