A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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