there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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