dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
