were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
