if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
