carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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