You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
