So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
